(quasi) Weekly guru.com WTF

I think I missed a post last Friday, but hopefully today's will more than make up for it. I know I'm probably being insensitive to the sexual proclivities of others, but hey, if we can't exploit insensitivity and misunderstanding in the name of humor, what are we doing here?

Project title: Domestic Discipline / Fetish Software
Need software programmer to create integrative domestic discipline software for couples engaged in domestic discipline / spanking / etc. Windows based. Should include the following features -

"Punishment Book" for recording misbehavior and punishment

"Punishment Calculator": spanker inputs data about the misdeed, program calculates appropriate punishment

"TIme Keeper": spankee's schedule of personal and professional tasks for the day, week, month - including *when* the task should be done, and *what* will happen if it is not done by deadline.

"Money Matters": spankers and/or spankee determine and keep spankee's budget.

"Health and Fitness": health, diet, and excersise program personalized for the spankee. Input meals, exercise routine, etc.

The software, as I envision it, provides a way for spanker to regulate, control, and "check" spankee's daily activities, and for both parties to reflect upon the process.

It should be fun, sexy, and easy to use.
Fun, sexy, and easy to use. Ooooooweeee! What more could you ask for? I like that it needs to be a Windows app, as if anyone using Linux participates in S/M activities (or sex in general, for that matter). I really get a kick out of the "Time Keeper" functionality. Here we shift paradigms from simple techno-sex-toy to complete-marriage-management-tool. I love it: "*what* will happen if it is not done". Cue the dramatic music...Have a wife that's not doing the dishes? Slap her! It's ok! The Spanking Software told you to! Ladies, have a man that just won't get off his ass to mow the lawn? Pinch his nipples and squeeze his balls! It's fine! The Spanking Software told you to! This software is going to revolutionize marriage forever!

1 comment:

John L. said...

holy shit that is hilarious. my favorite part is your tags - s/m, spanking, wtf